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| Daireem - Space |
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John Gibson  2nd In Command of SG&C Out of Work, Apparently Dominion Master 10/11/2008 11:52:10 PM  Level: 1 Experience: 0 Total Posts: 39 | We're dadgum adventurers for hire! Chris, John, and Jake sit in the John is gripping his armrests tightly. John: Remind me why we're here. Again. Chris: Because I like staring directly into a star from all too close a distance. It makes me feel powerful. Jake: And because I like seeing you freak out, John. John scowls. John: Hey, remember when we were "SG&C: Adventurers for Hire"? Jake: Not really. Chris: No. I remember when we were "Storms & Gibson: Adventurers for Hire," but then Jake came along and was like, "Kill everyone you see!" and we garnered an insatiable bloodlust that we've held onto ever since. Jake: Hush. John: Well, we should do some adventuring. For old time's sake. And because there's so much bad karma on my soul, I'm measurably heavier. Chris: Indeed. Alright, let's go. Jake: Back to the Nexus to pick up the others? Chris: Nah. John: Yes. We should get Tom and be "SG&C, Teamed with Fender Enterprises." Like old times, Snake. Chris: I agree. Jake: Fine. The |
Tom Fender  Member of SG&C Wandered the world like Caine from Kung-Fu and got into adventures Dominion Master 10/12/2008 3:37:34 AM  Level: 18 Experience: 26800 Total Posts: 96 | RE: We're dadgum adventurers for hire! The Chris opens the door and enters followed by John and Jake. Megan turns to them. Megan: Hey, guys. You're just in time. We just got a job offer over the Dais X machine. Chris: Adventuring job? Megan: Yeah, how'd you know? Chris: Just a hunch. John: Details? Tom: Oh yeah, we got details. You want details? We got details. Jango: Some archaeologists want us to accompany them on an expediton into the Deeps of Fierra Mesa, particularly to some Garbelkian ruins. John: Sounds... dangerous. The Deeps? Chris slaps John hard on the back. Chris: You wanted to do some old-fashioned adventuring, and you got it! He turns to Jango. Chris: Send in our acceptance, we're doin' this thing! Jango does so, operating the Dais X machine, pretty lights flickering on it. Several days later, they arrive at a modestly-sized town whose center seems to be a rather large university. They exit the Chris: I'm starved and I spy with my little eye an Electric Griddle. Forward! He marches down the sidewalk toward the popular franchise, John, Jake, Tom, Megan, and Keith in tow. They go inside and take up the length of the bar and proceed to order. --Later-- They exit the establishment satisfactorily not-hungry and proceed to meet with their employers at the university. After asking around and some Tom-foolery, they manage to find the office of the archaeologists. Chris: Hi, we're SG&C. I'm Chris. He extends his hand to the gray-haired man sitting behind the ornate desk. The man is bald on top and sporting a rather full mustache that appears to impair his speech. Despite his mustache, the man stands up and, reaching over his desk, grasps Chris' hand and shakes it vigorously. Chris notices the strength of the grasp and tries not to lose this battle of manly wills, applying slightly more force than the older gentleman but trying to not make it obvious. This contest goes on for a micro-eternity, but not long enough for anyone to notice it or for it to appear awkward in any fashion. The battle ends, victor unknown or uncared for. Gentleman: I am Dr. Gregory von Latehnschtun. He gestures toward another man standing nearby who has not yet lost the color of his hair. Gregory: This is Dr. Stanley Watson. Stanley nods, shaking Chris' hand. Gregory: We appreciate your willingness to assist us on this expedition. It's so hard to find good help to venture into the Deeps. The door to the office opens and a woman no older than 24 years and possessing short-cut, brown hair steps in. This catches Jake's immediate attention. Woman: Oh, I'm sorry, Doctors— Gregory: No, come in, dear. This is Hailey, one of my students. She will be joining us as a research assistant. Jake tips his headband and bows, taking her hand. Jake: The pleasure is certainly all mine, ma'am. Gregory: Hailey, this is SG&C. They've agreed to join us on the expedition. Jake kisses her hand. Jake: I am called Jake, but you can call me Jake. After giving Jake a thoroughly creeped-out look and reclaiming her now-wet hand, she glances at the rest of the team. Hailey: Nice to meet you. I still need to get a few things ready. Let me know when you're ready to depart, Dr. Latehnschtun. Gregory: Certainly. We shall depart within the hour. With that, Hailey leaves the room, shutting the door behind her. Megan shoots Jake a "we'll talk later" look. The archaeologists and SG&C proceed to finalize a few details and prepare for the journey. When the team puts some distance between them and the office, Megan turns to Jake. Megan: A little overbearing, no? Jake: What? I thought I was being polite. Megan: We're not supposed to creep out the clients or their assistants. Jake: I wonder if they have any more hot assistants. Megan rolls her eyes and lets out an exasperated sigh. Just then, Julius Poindexter stops them in the middle of a hall. He is equipped with a propeller beanie, enormous glasses, too-small, bright yellow shirt, blue shorts, and knee-high socks and bright sneakers as well as the Mother Lode of freckles. Julius: Oh, hey, it's SG&C! I'm so excited about going on this expedition with you guys! I just can't wait! My name's Julius; I'm one of the research assistants. He also has a very nasal voice. Chris: Oh, uh, hi. I'm Chris. Julius: I know! I've seen you guys's web site! John turns to Chris. John: Web site...? Chris: We're looking forward to working with you as well. He shakes Julius' hand. Julius then bounds off down the hall, presumably to do who-knows-what. Chris looks down at the palm of his hand. Chris: My palm is wet with... a viscous fluid. He wipes his hand vigorously on his pant leg and searches for a restroom. --- Within the hour, they are finally outside the school loading up the last of their equipment into several vehicles, two of the university's decked-out Ford Expeditions and a soft-top Jeep Wrangler SG&C brought down with them in the Chris takes the wheel of the Wrangler, while Dr. Watson and another research assistant, Donnie, take the wheels of the two Expeditions. They finally begin their journey out of town and into the Deeps of Fierra Mesa. |
| John Gibson 2nd In Command of SG&C Out of Work, Apparently Dominion Master 10/12/2008 1:28:18 PM Level: 1 Experience: 0 Total Posts: 39 | RE: We're dadgum adventurers for hire! It takes only about thirty minutes to get to their launch point: a dirt road that trails off of a small, seemingly little-travelled paved road that curves quickly off in the other direction. From the dirt road, the woods waste no time thickening harshly. They proceed along the very bumpy road. John: Euuggh. What was with that kid back there? Chris: I think he had some kind of mucousy coating, probably to protect him from harmful outdoor UV rays. John: ... Ah. But I was talking about how he was really excited about... us... though. Jake: We're famous, John. John: We are? Gosh. In one of the Expeditions resides Megan and Tom, who have been cast out for being later additions, like Chuck Norris and the Indian on Centurions. Tom: What the... frog? He points out the window at a three foot tall frog sitting on a log. It is eyeing them harshly as they pass. The radio crackles with the blaring voice of Jake. Jake: WHAT WAS THAT THING?! Megan: Uhh... Wow. Julius: That's Omegatoad! He's so cool. Hailey, in the other Expedition, answers over the radio. Hailey: The huge frog? We just call him Omegatoad, even though he's really more like a frog. We've never been able to study him because he ate the last guy that got too close. There is whimpering and gnashing of teeth in the Jeep. Hailey: He only got about half-way in, and the thing regurgitated him a minute later, but I hear the experience was pretty unpleasant. Megan stares at the thing uneasily for a long moment before it disappears out of view in the thick foliage. Jake: ... Aha. No sooner than that, the radio blares once again with an all-too-loud voice for its tiny speaker. Voice: Everybody stop! It's Donnie in the other Expedition. All three vehicles roll to a stop. Donnie: A zorish! I saw one! Chris: What the slag are we stopping for, then? You might consider the fact that I don't have my roof on. Jake, get on that MG. Donnie: What? No! No! You can't shoot it! Chris: The heck he can't. John: Jake... get your butt out of my face! Jake: Dang it, John! Donnie: Okay, okay. Let's get moving. They shouldn't attack such large, moving targets. The caravan begins again. John: I think I want to be in one of the other cars. Chris: With Poindexter there? John: Good point. Julius: So then he jumps in his Mecha, the Biting Ganache and uses his ultimate attack-- Tom: What are you even talking about? Julius: The best combat anime of all time, Fighting Ninja Fish Ganache ZX #. It was never localized, but dubs are always terrible. I have them all subbed on Blu-Ray. Tom: And what makes you think that we care? Julius: Because I'm the greasy geek character. Tom: ... Ah. |
| Tom Fender Member of SG&C Wandered the world like Caine from Kung-Fu and got into adventures Dominion Master 10/13/2008 2:27:02 AM Level: 18 Experience: 26800 Total Posts: 96 | RE: We're dadgum adventurers for hire! Tom: Do any of you suppose there are hostile natives around? Megan: No, why? Suddenly, hostile natives are around, throwing spears. One penetrates the driver's door and Donnie. He seems to not be too well-off. Tom: ! Tom tears off his shirt and his door, and jumps out of the vehicle, skinning his smokewagon and bringing it to bear on the head of a native. He goes to work and so does the projectile, splattering the hostile's cranium and traveling through three or four more. They hurl spears at Tom, but they reflect harmlessly off of his professional wrestling pectoral muscles. He grabs one native and curls him up into a ball, rolling him at a group of other natives, knocking them all over like bowling pins. Hearing the racket, zorishes appear, mauling natives and moving toward the vehicles. Tom wakes up and looks out the window. It's starting to rain. His breath is fogging up the glass, so he wipes it clean. The squeak startles Megan, who directs her gaze Tom's way. Tom is startled by Megan's startle. Tom: A little jumpy? Megan: Yes. The cars slow to a stop once again. Tom: Now what? Donnie: Tree in the road. Stanley can be seen exiting the lead car and going toward the back, opening the tailgate to grab a small Stihl chainsaw. Chris: Let's set up a perimeter. Keep your eyes peeled. Chris, John, and Keith exit the Wrangler, grabbing rifles, and proceed to surround the vehicles. Jake stays in the Jeep to man the machine gun. Stanley cranks up the saw and goes to work on the fallen tree. The sound of the roaring two-stroke motor echoes seemingly endlessly through the forest. SG&C all cringe at the thought of what the noise could be attracting. Something skitters through the underbrush near John. He jumps back, aiming his P90 toward the sound. John: What was that? Chris: Relax, it was just a rabbit or something. Listen, it's running away. John: At least our situations aren't always stereotypical, or else I'd be scared of the zorishes that would burst from the foliage and eat us alive right now because we let our guard down. Zorishes do not burst from the foliage and eat them alive because they let their guard down. Stanley finishes a cut, turns the saw off, and sets it down. He and Donnie begin to roll the trunk out of the road. The underside of the log was wet and crumbly and loaded with grubs. They finally move it out of the way enough when Donnie looks up. Omegatoad apparently had been sitting off to the side of the road observing them. Donnie: Oh, nice froggy. The underside of its neck heaves greatly as it lets out an enormous ribbit. Stanley: Just back away from it slowly. It won't hurt you. Donnie and Stanley begin doing so, but, suddenly uninterested, it turns and leaps off into the woods. They breathe a sigh of relief and head back to the vehicles, grabbing the saw along the way. John seems to be getting itchy or jumpy. Or itchy and jumpy. He's bouncing up and down, pumping his legs. John: Somethin's gonna jump us in the last ten seconds we're exposed. It's got to. Chris: Well, hurry up and pack it up. Let's go! They all hop back in their vehicles, crank them up, and continue down the barely-beaten path. Just before the area is out of sight, movement in the rear-view mirror catches John's eye. He squints, trying to make it clearer, and he swears he sees a couple zorishes on the road where they had stopped. He fights a chill and breaks his gaze away from the mirror. John: Eugh. I think I just saw zorishes back where we had stopped. Chris: Creepy. Jake: Man, I think rain's running down the barrel of the 240. Keith, hand me that trash bag. Keith reaches behind himself to grab the large, black garbage bag and hands it to Jake. Jake stands up and covers the machine gun with it, trying not to get thrown out of the vehicle on the bumpy road. Once his job is completed, he plops back down in his seat and steals John's hat. John just gives him a look but chooses not to pursue it. Keith pulls out a ratty baseball cap and dons it. |
| John Gibson 2nd In Command of SG&C Out of Work, Apparently Dominion Master 10/13/2008 10:47:52 PM Level: 1 Experience: 0 Total Posts: 39 | RE: We're dadgum adventurers for hire! Tom: Do any of you suppose there are hostile natives around? Megan: No, why? Tom looks around, as if expecting something. Predictably, nothing happens. Tom: No reason. They continue in silence. Tom: AHA! He jumps and points out the window. Megan: What?! Tom: Aaand there's nothing out there. Man. Megan is weirded. With a deafening sound, the hood area of the car is demolished under the weight of... something heavy. They can feel the rear lift several inches off the ground then drop back down. The air bag explodes into Donnie's face. After getting through the shock, they realize a tree... no, several trees have just dropped out of the sky directly on their car. Donnie: Mmffh! Tom: Here come the natives. He switches his pirate-style rifle to Plunder. Donnie digs his way out of the air bag. He grabs the radio. Donnie: A... uhh, a bunch of logs just dropped on us. He reaches for the door latch, but jumps nearly out of his pants when he hears a rapid pounding on his door. He looks out the window and sees two heavily painted individuals adorned in animal skins, crouched low and pounding on the door. Donnie: We've got... natives. The occupants of the Wrangler are all too well aware of this, as they are currently having a Mexican standoff with them. Jake gets on the horn. Jake: We're all too well aware of this, as we are currently having a Mexican standoff with them. The natives, with their very pointy sticks, have surrounded the Jeep and are poking them lightly and repeatedly. It's very irritating. Jake: Dude, cut it out! Chris: I am really regretting not bringing the Jeep with the hard top. The native on the passenger side somehow knows how to open the door and does so, then grabs John and pulls him, only to find the seat belt in his way. Native: Take it off. John: Wow. You don't just say "ook" and "ugh" and grunt and stuff? The native pokes him in the chest again. Native: Take it off. John: I think we could, you know, avoid all this confrontation if you just let us know what's going on. Due to John's awkward position, the native is able to snatch his pistol from him. He then presses further with the stick, this time actually being rather painful. John: Alright, fine... He takes off the seatbelt. John: I guess you, uh, want me to get out? The native grabs him and pulls him forcefully. John has to struggle to not be pulled face-down into the mud. Chris: This is unfortunate. |
| Tom Fender Member of SG&C Wandered the world like Caine from Kung-Fu and got into adventures Dominion Master 10/13/2008 11:30:06 PM Level: 18 Experience: 26800 Total Posts: 96 | RE: We're dadgum adventurers for hire! Tom: Um. Megan: Um? Tom: Um. Knee cap. Nodding in acknowledgement, Megan follows Tom outside the vehicle. They both begin knee-capping natives with their rifles. After seconds, the natives are all writhing on the ground. Groans all around. Tom leans over the one with the biggest hat. Tom: So, ook, and unga bunga? The native ignores his pain for a moment and manages to express confusion using his face. Tom: I mean... what do you want? If you "mean us no harm", this is not the way to greet us. Y'see, you have pointy sticks and I and my associate just knee-capped... all of you. It's depressing, really. Well, not knee-capped per se. We actually shot you below the knee. The native doesn't seem to care and goes back to being in pain. Tom turns and looks at the half-crushed SUV in which he was just uneventfully riding. Tom: Well, that's a bummer. He inspects the damage, walking around the vehicle. The engine block tore right off its mounts and is now resting firmly in the ground. Tom: That ain't goin' anywhere. John takes back his pistol and walks over to Tom. John: You just shot... all these guys... in the knees. Perfectly. One shot, one knee. How...? Tom: Oh, we've been practicing practical ways to end a Mexican stand-off for a few weeks now. John: Practical? Tom: Do you ever wonder why they call it a Mexican stand-off and why "Mexican" is capitalized? John: No. Donnie manages to get out finally, part of the air bag spilling out onto the ground and biting at his heels. Donnie: Well, now what do we do? Tom: I say we hook all these guys up and make them tow us to our destination. That'd look pretty funny, actually, all these guys hobbling around— Rudely interrupting Tom are the terrible screeching roars of about twenty zorishes just out of sight. Tom: Cripes... Jake rips the garbage bag off the machine gun and swings it around to aim behind the caravan in the direction of the roars. Jake: HERE THEY COME! The pack of zorishes bursts from the brush all around, growling, roaring, and just plain being noisy. Jake opens up. The sound of gun fire rings out and creates more racket than the zorishes were. He manages to hit a couple, but they don't go down. They keep moving as quick as ever. Jake: These things are fast! Donnie dives back into the car and slams the door. Tom and Megan fire, moving toward the Jeep to try to keep them away. In the lead car, Gregory and Stanley are watching through the rear window. Gregory: Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. They nearly hit the roof when they hear a zorish land on the hood. Eyes wide, Stanley gets on the radio. Stanley: They're up here too. Chris: Just hang on. Let us know if it starts getting through. And, by all means, stay inside! Whoa— Chris is cut off and more shots are heard. Stanley and Gregory stare agape out the windshield. The zorish starts headbutting it, a web of cracks appearing around the point of impact. Fortunately, the university saw fit to fortify their expeditionary vehicles with an armored body and impact-resistant windows. The zorish soon gets a headache and stops. It begins circling the car, apparently waiting for an opening. Tom: Those blasted natives were working with the zorish, weren't they?! John: Don't be ridiculous. John pops the empty magazine out of his P90 and inserts a new one. Jake: Can barely hit them—we're just burning up ammo. After taking a couple casualties, the zorishes disappear into the forest just as abruptly as they arrived. Tom: Well, gee whiz. The noise dies down and the groaning of the natives can be heard once more. Chris: Nice. OK, so we've got a disabled truck and too many people and too much stuff to move. Now what? Tom looks down at one of the fallen natives. Tom: Yeah, thanks, butt clowns! |
| John Gibson 2nd In Command of SG&C Out of Work, Apparently Dominion Master 10/15/2008 8:25:11 PM Level: 1 Experience: 0 Total Posts: 39 | RE: We're dadgum adventurers for hire! The adventurers' COMMs buzz. John: Tom. Tom: Hm? John: What the slag is a COMM? Tom: A... communication... over... maggots. Maggots. John: ... Ah. Their ear-mounted wireless communication devices buzz, emitting microwaves in very close proximity to their brains. Slight genetic degradation occurs, and, if continuously applied for several years, will cause a tumor to form. Jango: Guys. John: Jango. Jango: I'm utilizing the Dusek Machine. Hold. On. John: Oh slag. HE'S USING THE DUSEK MACHINE! They all run, not walk, to the Wrangler and pile in--all six of them. The world around them flashes in a wrong way. Colors and shapes warp around unrealistically. When it all comes to a stop, the natives are all standing around, their weapons lowered, and Dr. von Latehnschtun is talking to their leader. The zorishes have not arrived. John: ... Ah. |
| John Gibson 2nd In Command of SG&C Out of Work, Apparently Dominion Master 10/22/2008 1:39:04 AM Level: 1 Experience: 0 Total Posts: 39 | RE: We're dadgum adventurers for hire! Everything up to this point had been Tom's hallucination—again. Must be the weather. He doesn't even realize he was hallucinating, as his hallucination had actually led to reality. In reality, Dr. Gregory von Latehnschtun was, in fact, speaking with the natives in their... ahem... native tongue. After a moment, he turns to Chris, who has adopted a position near him. Gregory: They say we are trespassing in... well, I'm not sure what he's saying the place is, this is a different dialect so I'm sort of deciphering it as I go... but it's very important to them and they don't want us passing through here. Chris: ... Ah. Well why didn't they tell us that in the first place instead of marauding us with pointy sticks? Gregory: ... Uhh, because we bring... Well, they keep saying "dagagui." The best I can figure is something like "beasts of man." I think he's talking about our vehicles. They, uh, trample the earth and— The leader of the natives just cracks up. His speech is stilted, but still perfectly understandable. Leader: You are like... Daniel Jackson. Of Stargate. And you are so bad at it! They all laugh. John snorts, then holds up a hand in apology. Leader: Nah, we are... ah, "screwing with you." Come, let us party hard. They turn away and begin to walk off. Gregory: We'd love to, but we've got to keep going... They all stop immediately. The leader turns to him and jams the butt of his spear into the ground. Leader: This was not an INVITATION. A fiery vortex opens behind him. Several of the natives hurl, screaming, into it. His eyes also catch fire. Leader: You will come with us. AND WE WILL PARTY HARD. |
| Tom Fender Member of SG&C Wandered the world like Caine from Kung-Fu and got into adventures Dominion Master 10/22/2008 1:54:05 AM Level: 18 Experience: 26800 Total Posts: 96 | RE: We're dadgum adventurers for hire! Tom: Whoa. This is intense. Chris: So, is this where the story finally stops being boring? John: I really doubt it. Leader: YOU WILL PARTY HARD. He smashes the end of his spear into the ground again. All the expeditionary vehicles and their contents are sucked into the swirling flames of the vortex. There is a horrifying screeching sound as bright, tie-dye colors swim around them. After only a few seconds, they are shot out of the colorful wormhole onto the steps of an ancient temple made of huge, stone blocks drenched in the ancient sweat of equally ancient Garbelkian slaves. The jungle closes in on all sides, driving some nearby claustrophobic native mad. He passes out in a puddle of mud and is quickly made the perch of a family of doves. Aside from this, the place is jumping. There are ravers, strobe lights, and bowls of fruit punches based on ancient Garbelkian recipes. They probably cure cancer, stupidity, and any number of otherwise incurable diseases, but nobody would know one way or the other. Tom jumps out and sidles on up to the lead car, knocking on the driver's window. It rolls down, slowly revealing the shocked faces of the vehicle's occupants. Tom: Is this your destination? Gregory: Yes, but I never thought they would still be alive, much less like this. This is... this is absurd! Tom: Stuff gets silly when we're around. I have no idea why. Tom waits for himself to awaken from yet another hallucination inside a hallucination inside another one, but he does not. This does not, however, mean it is not a hallucination. He heads over to the table on which rest the bowls of red-colored or possibly red-flavored punch. Stanley: Well, what do we do now, Doctor? Dr. Gregory von Latehnschtun rubs his forehead and sighs. |
| John Gibson 2nd In Command of SG&C Out of Work, Apparently Dominion Master 10/22/2008 7:44:05 PM Level: 1 Experience: 0 Total Posts: 39 | RE: We're dadgum adventurers for hire! John: I'm not sure if I should jump on it, or get out my seat and jump around—jump around, or be horrified and crumple into a gibbering mass on the ground. This is... I don't think there's a word to describe it. Berlugiajating? Jake: I think that's the one. John: Good. John saunters on over to Gregory, who is looking devastated. John: This is the part where somebody should probably try to comfort you, but I can't for the life of me remember what it was we were here for, so I have no idea. Gregory: I wanted... He sobs. Gregory: I wanted to study the ancient ruins. They may be ancient, but... they're not ruins! Everything we know about this planet's history... destroyed! John nods thoughtfully. John: That's pretty harsh. Gregory: Well no slag, Sherlock! You don't care about any of this, you're just some... MONGOLOID! John: ... No, I don't think I am, but point taken. I guess? But you, as a scientist or whatever, should know that's very offensive— Gregory: Just get out of my face! He sort of waves his hand as if to push John away, but completely misses. John: I'm going to go have some of this punch, then. He gets up and walks over to one of the tables. One of the dancing natives throws him a thumbs-up, for some reason. John smiles and nods uncomfortably back at him. Tom is standing at the punch bowl. John: What flavor is it? And don't tell me "boot to the head", because it's not boot to the head. Tom: I think it's red-flavored. John: Is that some kind of synesthesia thing? Tom: ... I don't think it's spiked, no. John: No, synesthesia— Tom smiles and nods distantly. John gives up. John: Forget it. He grabs a glass, shaped like the head of Omegatoad, dips it in the punchbowl, and throws it back. John: Holy slag. It DOES taste red. |
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